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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:41
最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 09:41
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
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Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
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If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
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Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
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Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
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One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
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The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
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Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
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Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
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Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
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A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
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The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
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Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
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So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
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The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
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Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
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Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
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Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
Outside of a dog, a book is man\'s best friend. Inside of a dog, it\'s too dark to read.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/17/(Tue) 15:00
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